There’s this amazing blogger here in Austin - her name is Tolly and she writes Austin Eavesdropper. Not only is she a great person and friend, but she’s a total inspiration. Want to redecorate? Check out her blog. Want to get motivated to try new things? Definitely check out her blog! Ever year, she chooses a New Year’s Word. Instead of making resolutions, she chooses a word that will be her sort of theme for the year. I’ve been thinking long and hard about this, and I’ve finally come up with my word.
My 2012 word is FEARLESS.
2011 was a rough year for me. I admitted defeat in my struggle to handle my depression on my own and returned to taking medication. My relationship of 5 1/2 years ended and I was forced to start my life over as a single rather than part of a couple. My nearest and dearest friend, my sweet Schmo, my adopted big brother died. I faced a lot of harsh realities and a lot of pain. But you know what? I’m still alive. None of it killed me, and it’s helped me see that I really am quite capable and strong.
I spent a lot 2011 being afraid. I was afraid of living on my own, I was afraid of standing on my own two feet, I was scared of dealing with adult things like debt and banking and savings accounts and bills. Most of all, I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to be a fully formed person after so many years of being a half in a set. I’ve found that I am definitely a whole person, and I have so many goals and dreams and plans. And that I am fully capable of being on my own.
In 2012, I want to be fearless. I have a lot of goals this year- personal, professional, and interpersonal. And every single one requires me to be fearless. I have to be willing to put myself out there as a business woman and be confident in my abilities. I will not fear trying new things to stimulate my mind and body and soul. I will not be afraid to be myself, the good and the bad. I will go out on a limb and tell people how I feel….. especially if I feel warm and cuddly about them.
This past year I found out that it’s hard to keep me down for long. A lot of things hurt me, knocked me down, and took the wind out of my sails. And yet, I always managed to get up, dust myself off and keep moving. I’m not saying this to brag or to get words of congratulations. This is a reminder to myself that I am absolutely capable of getting back up after I get knocked down. That no matter how hard things seem, and how sometimes I feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, I always find my way and keep moving forward.
I am looking forward to 2012. This will be the year in which I will be fearless. Who knows….. I might even get it tattooed on me…….
HUGE thanks to Tolly for the inspiration to find my word of the 2012!! What’s yours??